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A great resource that I back is the book, “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married” by Gary Chapman. I wrote a previous post, Marrying Him = Marrying Into a Family, regarding one of the chapters. I also have this book listed on our Resources Page. I said that all to say I like the book and believe it is a great resource!
Today, we are going to take a look at another chapter of the book. Chapter 4: “How to Solve Disagreements without Arguing”. Sounds like a great skill set to have! Let’s delve in and see what Chapman has to say about this topic!
“No one had ever told us that conflicts are a normal part of every marriage. There are no married couples who do not encounter conflicts, for one simple reason- we are individuals.”
Chapman says first things first. We must accept that we will have conflicts. Some will be small and some will be larger. This is NOT a sign you married the wrong person, but rather a sign that we are human. Once we have accepted the fact that there will be conflict in marriage we then must find a healthy way to deal with conflicts. Showing genuine respect while we do so is important!
Chapman explains three ways that we can solve disagreements without arguing:
CONTINUE READING AT NEW NOSTALGIA>>>
Any ideas how we can convince our spouse that it’s okay to have spats sometimes? He thinks everyday should be easy and happy and if it’s not then there is something wrong with the marriage. That seems dramatic and I don’t know how to convince him otherwise. Tips??
Personally I don’t think every day should be easy, because we should always be working to maintain a good marriage which sometimes isn’t easy! It’s ok to have spats on occasion as long as you both are using effective communication. And ideally these conversations should be about stuff that matters, not just random arguments over petty stuff. Maybe he just doesn’t like to have spats because then he feels a division between the two of you. I don’t really have any advice for you other than consider why he doesn’t like to have disagreements. Like I said maybe he feels like his world is off balanced and it effects other areas as well. Good luck!