There is a lot of advice that can be found about marriage and how to keep a healthy relationship. Most of that information has great tips to abide by, for sure. But there has been one thing in Ryan and I’s marriage that I know makes a huge difference for us. I am sure it would make a big difference for others too. Now you are going to have to hear me out on this. I’m sure some of you will read this and immediately say, “That won’t work for us.” For very few of you it literally can’t work. For others you are just not willing to make sacrifices. All I am asking is that you hear me out.
If you could or would figure out a way to do this one thing there are many benefits:
– You and your husband could be spending an hour or more (probably more, but I’m being conservative here) together each day.
– There would be time for you and your man to end the day by reviewing how the day was, share your goals or talk about your dreams.
– You would be able to start your day off on the right foot feeling loved and making sure your man knew he was loved.
– There would be more opportunities for you and your man to have intimate time together.
Ultimately, doing this one thing would allow you and your husband the ability to connect more often creating oneness in your marriage. Who does not long for that?!
What is this one thing that will allow me all the above mentioned benefits?
Go to bed and wake up at the same time as your spouse.
Now if I had to guess I would say for a large percent of people who just read that had about three reasons pop into their head about why that wouldn’t work for them. Am I right? Did that happen to you?
Continue to hear me out, will you? Like I said above, for some there are legitimate reasons that you can’t do this. Perhaps night shift work. However, I can not think of many others. Beyond that it takes a little bit of sacrifice and change of schedule. But the rewards you and your marriage gain are far worth the hassle in the beginning.
A few years ago Ryan’s work and workout schedule required him to start his day at 4:15am and end his day about 8pm. We already were going to bed around 8:30 (call us crazy, I know.) But the 4:15 wake up was going to be a big change! The first week or so I tried to continue to sleep past his wake time. I woke from the alarm, didn’t get good sleep once he was up making noises, and I didn’t get to see him before starting my day. Then, in the evenings Ryan would start wrapping his day up and want to go to sleep before me. This meant we went to bed separately or I laid there awake for awhile. Neither of which I liked.
We did this for a short time before I starting feeling pulled apart from Ryan. In just that week or two I started seeing how couples could become roommates just passing by each other. The idea frightened me. And all just so I could keep the schedule I was use to? It was worth the sacrifice of changing my schedule! I told Ryan my intentions and we began getting up and going to sleep together.
At that time I was teaching so I literally would be up 3 hours before I even had to be at work. Come to find out most of the world is still asleep that early in the morning and you can get a lot done. Some mornings we would get a workout in together or chat on the phone on the way to work. In the evenings we were getting ready for bed at the same time allowing us time to catch up on the day. If we are being honest just the simple fact of waking up and going to bed at the same time increases your odds of sex as well.
I know that getting up and going to bed at the same time might seem like a hard task at hand. However, I challenge you to try it for about two weeks. The first few days will be a bit challenging so you have to give it a little time. So try it out for two weeks. You will see how it can help you to connect with your spouse. You will start to see the benefits it has on your marriage. You will feel closer with your mate and feel more at peace with the rest of your day.
Some people may not agree with me so I am asking,
Do you agree or disagree that this one thing could help marriages?
Until Next Time- Truly Love,