Ryan and I have been very busy in 2015! We had set out this year to make it the best year in our marriage along with our businesses and personal goals. That is a huge order to fill! While growing businesses can for sure be time consuming and take energy, we wanted to make sure to put our marriage as a priority. There have been extra busy periods of time where we didn’t do great, but for the most part I feel like we have improved.
For us it was being intentional about building connection and intimacy. Now that we have been married four years we fell into a routine and got comfortable. We weren’t necessarily perusing each other any more. We wanted to make an effort to bring a little more excitement back into our marriage. There have been four things we have been doing to facilitate this rebuilding of intimacy that I want to share with you today.
- Make Time For Dates: If you are already doing dates, change up the types of dates you are doing or initiate some by surprise. For us this means making the effort to have a sitter once a month so that we can be toddler free to connect. But also dates at home are an option after the kids go to bed to eliminate sitter costs and expenses of going out.
- Speak His Love Language: Knowing and speaking your spouses Love Language is by far my biggest recommendation! You must know what his Love Language is first, but then you get to choose to speak it often. Personally, I would suggest to find small ways to incorporate it daily!
- Ask Questions: Think of things you still don’t know about your spouse and then ask questions to learn more about him. Do you know what his favorite holiday is and why? What about his favorite cartoon as a child? Or if he could do any hobby or meet any person? Remember the dating days of just wanting to learn as much as possible about each other? Get back into that mind set!
- Support His Goals: Get clear on what his current goals are for his work or his hobby. That might mean asking him. When you are supporting your man in these things he feels respected and loved. Your actions and words both should show you are supporting him.
These things Ryan has been doing for me as well. (I think he might even have a reminder set on his phone! Hey whatever it takes!) This has allowed us to feel loved and connected which has helped us to communicate better with openness and vulnerability. We both have mentioned how we are feeling connected, intimate and loved more now than we ever have before. Because we are being intentional and purposeful with our marriage!
*You might be interested in checking out Creating True Agape: 20 At Home Dates where I incorporated all four of the above things to make preplanned and ready to use dates.
Until Next Time- Truly Love,