Emma Merkas is an Australian relationships and marriage writer and the co-founder of Melt: Massage for Couples, a beautiful online video series that teaches couples the secrets to an amazing massage. She has been married to her business partner Denis for five years, together for ten.
There are few experiences more intimate than sharing a massage with the person you love.
I should know, I’m married to a couples massage expert… so I’m a lucky woman that gets to indulge in a lot of massaging!
It’s not all take, take, take of course.
No relationship can survive like that.
I treat him to massages too, and I notice they always delight him – even if it’s just a quick five-minute hand massage, or a head rub.
But when we take the time to give each other a back massage, that’s when things start to go next level in the intimacy stakes.
If that sounds like the kind of vibe you want this Valentine’s Day, here’s how to get it by treating your partner to a romantic back rub:
The way we massage, we sit close so as to have full body contact. It’s deliciously cozy this way, creating a bond between two people.
Having your partner lay on the bed means they’re at arm’s length. Get them to sit on the floor while you kneel behind them with a pillow or a small foot stool to prop you up.
This way, they can lean back into you, they can feel your breath on their neck, you can wrap them in a nice hug mid-massage… blissful.
This proximity closeness amps up the intimacy tenfold.
But don’t just take my word for it. Massage has been proven to build intimacy and trust between spouses.
It’s a non-verbal way to communicate with each other.
With each stroke, you’re helping your partner and yourself relax, easing tension, reducing cortisol, slowing your heart rate and most importantly for any marriage… showing love and kindness.
There are a few things that make a massage awkward rather than romantic – so obviously they are to be avoided!
Don’t go in hard and fast right away like a jackhammer on their shoulders. Much like making love, that’s not a sexy or romantic way to begin!
Start light and flowy, use repetitive strokes and let your partner ease into the experience slowly.
Take a few deep breaths yourself and make sure you’re relaxed while you’re giving the massage.
And it’s not all about what your hands are doing. Get smooth by creating a gorgeous ambiance for you both to enjoy.
Add slow music, dim lighting, maybe some wine and chocolates into a space where you can be alone (after the kids are in bed works too!) and you have all the ingredients for a seriously romantic night in.
Get More (Massages!)
Here’s a little secret for you – there’s a way to get more massages in your relationship. It’s kind of counter-intuitive, but it works.
Give your partner more massages.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
That’s right – give, and you will receive. Be generous and kind with your massages and your partner will return the favour.
And if you’re a Physical Touch Love Language like me, you’ll enjoy the process of giving just as much as the getting. In fact if you think about it, giving massages speaks to Acts of Service and Quality Time Love Languages just as much as the Touchers.
Which makes it a perfect Valentine’s Day for just about anyone!
A Note from Cassie: Emma and her husband Denis are the creators of a product I LOVE called Melt: Massage for Couples. If you want to learn more about how to massage your partner I highly recommend you check it out! A lifetime membership to Melt is a great Valentine’s Day gift and they are offering a FREE foot rub video with every membership purchased from now until Valentine’s Day 2017. It comes with downloadable vouchers for easy gifting and it’s the kind of present that gives all year ‘round! Check out their Valentine’s Day Special here.